When you were in your Mothers care, did you not get told "healthy mind healthy body?" You did not understand then, but if you look at it in a sensible way you can see by her way of thinking, that just by thinking ill of other people it puts bitterness into your own mind.
Try to treat people as an extension of your own body. This is not easy but if you think, this is the only way to get peace of mind and can only be achieved when all material things can be just something you have to have in this world, not make an idol of. Stop to think, when you talk of needs are you trying to get something vital to your life or just another bit of weight to carry with you?
Look as some of the people you feel sorry for because all they have is in their pockets. Maybe they are sorry for you because you have all the worry of thinking what you are supposed to do. If you give them money then it is their responsibility and they have to decide, so you have given away not only money but the problem of how to spend it. Some people talk of miracle cures and how to wipe all the diseases from this Earth, but how would they fill their life if they did not have these causes to fight for?
Some day you will view this world from a different angle but there is much to do, many writings to get through. We are always with you.